Robbing a Robber’s Thoughts

Ahh! Finally! The last one also left. But I should not spring into action, let me wait a while. People are still there on the ground floor.*After one hour*

Hmmm, why are these people sauntering around? It’s hot out here for God’s sake! People should be in their homes or in their offices now. Anyways, I’ve been planning this heist for a long time now. Let me wait a tad more.

*Another hour passes by…*

Good, at last the road is also deserted. Now I can go in undetected. Summer heat allows me to work two shifts – afternoons and nights, and I’m surely not complaining.

*Sneaks in, climbs the stairs stealthy*

Ohh! Why isn’t the first floor empty?!?! Should I flee? Should I take the risk and go ahead? I have been planning this for a long time, and one of these guys has also gone home. But it’s risky… God! What confusion!!

Hey, what is that sound? The television has been switched on! Good, I’ll proceed, although a bit cautiously.

*Gets accosted by the locked door*

Latch or lock? Latch or lock? Sturdy lock, flimsy latch… So latch it is.

*Converts the room from a peaceful abode to a scene of crime*

Huh! That latch was a piece of cake. Hmmm, three rooms… Let me start with the bedrooms. Valuables are generally there only.

*Enters room #1*

Where did I come to? A garbage dump could be more habitable…

*Proceeds to the suitcases standing in the corner*

What are these guys?! Only certificates… Don’t they have any cards, or some cash preferably!

Two suitcases and all I find are certificates! And a room full of clothes. Bah! Let me go to the other bedroom.

*Enters room #2*

Thank God, at least this room is not a dump yard for clothes… But the room is too bare.

A bed against the left wall, a TV at the right corner, a beanbag at the foot of bed, and some paintings – especially at the right wall – would surely add some colour to the room.

Hmmm, I can be a good interior decorator too… But future career prospects can be taken care of later. Right now I am but a petty thief.

More suitcases! Hope there is something valuable this time around.

*No thought bubbles for next 3 minutes, and then…*

ARGHHHH! I hate bachelors! I hate bachelors who are IT professionals! I hate bachelors who are IT professionals and are smart enough not to keep any valuables in their rooms!

*Sits with his back to the wall, hands on head, muttering obscenities… Some time later*

I should not lose heart, there is one more room left. I’ll hope for the best.

*Enters room #3*

Finally! I can see at least one valuable thing! But how am I supposed to carry a monitor and a CPU in broad daylight? It sure is searing hot out there, but carrying such a load would surely make me conspicuous. I cannot take that risk.

Hey what is that? The CPU cover is open. An extra hard disk – cool! I’ll take that, finally something! That reminds me, recently my computer has been slowing down – this RAM may help.

*Pulls out the hard disk and the RAM*

Finally! Something is better then nothing.

Let me go through the rest of the room.

That shelf is full of stuff. Hope I find some credit cards there.

Books, books, books, and more books! I hate bookworms! I hate bookworms who are bachelors! I hate bookworms who are bachelors and IT professionals! I hate bookworms who are bachelors and IT professionals and careful enough to not keep valuables in their home!

But aren’t bachelors supposed to be careless?!?

Never, ever in my life am I going to rob a bachelor pad again! A whole afternoon wasted! I hate bachelors!

*One last look around the room*

Hmmm, a CD case. Let me see if I find some interesting movies in there… What is this? 10-17 and other stuff. What sort of CD title is that? Let me some other CDs… Season-1 1-9, Season-3 12-18, Season-6 22-end and Season-7 1-4.

*Goes through the whole CD case, searching for a descriptive title*

Is this place not occupied by software engineers? They must know about the naming standards!

*Some more title reading and then a bulb flickers on over his head*

PAYDIRT! I have hit pay dirt! This is the whole 10-season collection of Friends! Whoa!

God bless these bachelors! I love them!



[Inspired by the robbery that took place at our home in May 2006. Had been thinking of writing this for a long time; the incomplete draft has been languishing for almost 6 months now. Got around to finishing it today]


8 Responses to “Robbing a Robber’s Thoughts”

  1. 1 utkarsh December 12, 2006 at 6:56 pm

    dood … you left the robbery half way .. now go back and finish what you started !!
    Write about rocky’s thoughts as he entered the flat ( If I remember right .. he was the one who came back first .. right ? ) .. that would be a good sequel 😀

  2. 2 utkarsh December 12, 2006 at 6:57 pm

    btw .. forget the CDs and buy the DVDs .. there is so much of FRIENDS that was edited and we never saw because it wasn’t telecasted ..

  3. 3 Kunal December 13, 2006 at 10:10 am

    utkarsh, I wrote the post from the robber’s perspective not the guys he robbed – see the title dude 🙂
    for rocky’s thoughts on the robbery, I have already linked to his post on that incident….

    and yeah even I am thinking of buying the DVDs of Friends… just waiting for the time when I can keep it safely, without the fear of getting robbed again 😛

  4. 4 Rakesh December 13, 2006 at 10:38 am

    awesome .. for a second I thought that may be the *Hitech Thief* has turned a blogger too 🙂

  5. 5 utkarsh December 13, 2006 at 11:51 am

    dude .. now i have serious doubts ..
    was it a in-house robber ?? 😀
    you seem to be knowing the order of events pretty clearly 😀

  6. 6 Kunal December 13, 2006 at 11:55 am

    thanks rakesh…

    are utkarsh, aisi baate public me nahi karte! thoda meri izzat ka khyal rakh 😀
    and to put your doubts at rest, I was at raipur that time – enjoying my hard-earned vacation! 🙂

  1. 1 DesiPundit » Archives » Robbing A Robber’s Thoughts Trackback on December 19, 2006 at 9:10 pm
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I write! Topic does not matter, can be my life, or my travels, or any match I saw, or the Hyderabadi life, or reminiscing about Raipur, or penning Short Stories & 55s.

I can be contacted at kunalblogs[at]gmail[dot]com.

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