NOT Compnipotent (Comp-omnipotent)

A much-delayed rant, but nevertheless, here it goes.

Yes, I am a Computer Science graduate.
Yes, I love tinkering with gadgets.
Yes, I have been toying with computers for more then 5 years now.
Yes, I know a lot about computers.


No, I do not know everything about computers.
No, I cannot fix everything.
No, I am not a computer-God who can fix your computer by just coming to your doorstep.

Would someone please take a printout of this and snail-mail it to all my relatives. Any time I go to Raipur, or whenever any relatives are around, I am beseeched with requests to cure their computers, make their computers work faster etc etc.

How am I supposed to make a PIII with 64 MB RAM work faster? And yes, people still have that configuration… And almost always the keyboard/mouse would not be working and would start working as soon as plug them in properly.

And firewall is nothing related to bricks or Rahul Dravid, and yahoo was the cry of Shammi Kapoor in the 70’s, but now Yahoo! is synonymous with chat, and chat does not mean talking in person or over the phone, and when I say anti-virus, the antibiotic you took does not count.

A sincere request to all my relatives: Please let me enjoy my holidays when I am at home. I know how to operate a computer, I earn my livelihood through a computer, I am in love with computers, but sometimes I have no clue as to why one is behaving erratically.

Ok, all of my relatives, tell me one thing – have you figured out women? Do you know why sometimes they behave the way they behave? If you figure that out, I promise I’ll solve your plethora of computer related problems whole my life without any objection.


10 Responses to “NOT Compnipotent (Comp-omnipotent)”

  1. 1 Tarun Jain November 1, 2006 at 6:24 pm

    Plz, Plz, Plz
    Send a CC to my relatives too πŸ™‚

  2. 2 mythalez November 1, 2006 at 11:38 pm

    even my flatmates here hav already told me that incase their comp has any problems, i am supposed to cure it :-s .. the worse part, they all use windows.. and i have never ever knew how to do the simplest of things in it :((

  3. 3 Rakesh November 1, 2006 at 11:44 pm

    @Kunal, please CC that to my friends, back in my town also ..
    @mythalez: yeah .. the damn thing is that everyone of them use windows… and you can never explain to them, what on the earth, a Linux machine is… for them computer means windows .. and every computer by default should have a “Start” button in it.

  4. 4 erimentha November 2, 2006 at 11:00 am

    Thank God I had the sense to get out when I did!

  5. 5 karanmaroo November 2, 2006 at 12:00 pm

    haha.. very well written. u av expressed what most of u have been facing. In fact, when i visited my relatives this time around, i was inundated with such requests inspite of only having completed my first year!!

  6. 6 Kunal November 2, 2006 at 10:48 pm

    tarun, πŸ˜€

    rakesh & rama, that is a huge problem.. I ask people to shift to linux and they ask me what it is… I tell them another operating system and draw blank stares.. Most of them have no idea what an OS is…

    erimentha, good for you πŸ™‚

    karan, right now you have the bahana – “ohh, I have not studied this..” use it amply… after 3 years, you would not have that luxury πŸ™‚

  7. 7 Swapna Krishnan November 3, 2006 at 3:00 am

    Totally agree with you. Thankfully, most of my cousins are in the software industry, too. So every one of them gets in when they go to India.. πŸ™‚

  8. 8 mojindro November 3, 2006 at 5:02 pm

    hey thats not fair linking ur computer problem with women….
    you find a most comfortable excuse bcoz i agree women are mysterious…

  9. 9 Sreejith November 5, 2006 at 1:10 am

    *remembers the time when he tried endlessly to format a relative’s pc and it kept hanging every single time.
    *remembers the time when a relative freaked out when i had to flash the bios.
    *remembers the time when he failed to convince another relative that 32MB of RAM was not enough to install xp, much less play NFS Underground.
    *remembers the time when yet another relative wanted me to install 98, ME and XP on his ancient 4GB harddisk!

  10. 10 Kunal November 6, 2006 at 6:56 pm

    swapna, lucky you πŸ™‚

    mojindro, I am not linking computer problems with women! I am linking computers with them, both are equally mysterious…

    sreejith, what can I say but *sigh*…

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I write! Topic does not matter, can be my life, or my travels, or any match I saw, or the Hyderabadi life, or reminiscing about Raipur, or penning Short Stories & 55s.

I can be contacted at kunalblogs[at]gmail[dot]com.

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