I live to eat and sleep well, and most of the people I know will agree to one if not both; one of the biggest opponents of my life-mantra is my dear daughter. Why does she hate sleeping? And why does she hate eating good food, and no I am not talking about the baby-goop that is branded and sold as full nourishment for your kid, I am talking about absolutely tasty food made by the wife in shuddh-ghee. I would lick the plate clean if presented with that, take a nice loud burp and toddle off to sleep, not my daughter – she would take a look at it, scoff at the insolence of her parents that they gave her food, turn to the closest non-food object, pop that in her mouth and toddle off to tear apart another paper in small pieces. At least for the sleep part I can understand her logic – why waste it sleeping when you can spend that time making mom-dad turn tricks for you?
I don’t know how, but she seems to have picked up a few political genes as well. She won’t do anything until her palm is greased. “Want me to take a bite of food? First give me your mobile-phone.” ”Another bite? Jump up and down for me.” “Another one? Only if you let me go out of the room after this bite.” ”More? I need Dad’s glasses before I can promise anything.” “Are you trying to stuff me? I need to watch that video on youtube.” ”Are you kidding me? I already ate 5 bites and I refuse to yield with even all your pressure. I am not a politician that I will agree if you promise me more.”
I remember some research that kids start lying early, I can provide conclusive proof to that. If I am ignoring the kid, and she wants my attention she will resort to all tricks possible. She will blow her nose like it is running so that I check all is well, “OK Dad came and went back seeing my nose is not runny at all. Time to step it up a notch.” Next she will shout putty (no, she is not talking about the ssh client – although can’t be sure with kids of this age) instead of potty and hope for the best. When another check reveals her lies, she will resort to the safest bet: shout “dudhu” or “pani” – after all which Dad can ignore a plea of hunger? I will pick her up and get a glass of water for her. Mission accomplished! :-)
Absolutely enjoying this phase, should have started writing these fatherhood tales earlier.