- I am going to suffer and die early (That is sad :()
- I have a very good long life-line (Confusion confusion!)
- Three people will depend on me throughout my life (Really!)
- I am going to have an extra-marital affair with an acquaintance of my wife (Don’t let my future wife read this :P)
- I will have two affairs before my marriage. (Hey, stop kidding me. Who do you think I am? The modern-day Casanova!)
These are just a few of the many predictions that have come forth using palmistry, numerology and horoscope. How can my life be predicted using a sun-sign or a number or my the lines on my hand? I like to be in control of my life. It seems hilarious to me that my destiny was carved the moment I was born; people noting down the exact time and then seeing where the Shani and the Mangal were at the instance I was born, then a Rashi (lunar-sign) is assigned to me, I should have a name starting with the letter K; and oh! I almost forgot the number 5, this would define the characteristics I would have – mellow, easy-going, thoughtful. And the lines of my hand, which would predict as soon as I am born as to how many kids I’ll have, will my wife be beautiful or not, how long will I live, am I brainy or not and God knows what not? Wait a second; I think I am missing something. Oh yeah! Sun-sign! Now there is this sun-sign, which again defines my characteristics – frank, rude, impulsive. Hey did not the number 5 say I am easy-going & now Aries says I am impulsive! Proper time to use a Siddhu euphemism – I am as confused as a kid in a topless bar :o Whew! So many forces conspiring to take control of my life.
Dear conflicting forces, I am so honoured that you find my life so interesting. Well, thank you to all of you, but I think that I can take care of myself. I don’t need your help in planning out my life. I do love to hear the predictions, about my supposed future exploits for the simple reason that I love jokes, I like to laugh :) So please stop trying to rule my life because you never will be able to do so. It is me who is in control of my life, and I like it that way.
I sum up in one word what all this astrology means to me: Horror-scope!