- I am going to suffer and die early (That is sad :()
- I have a very good long life-line (Confusion confusion!)
- Three people will depend on me throughout my life (Really!)
- I am going to have an extra-marital affair with an acquaintance of my wife (Don’t let my future wife read this :P)
- I will have two affairs before my marriage. (Hey, stop kidding me. Who do you think I am? The modern-day Casanova!)
These are just a few of the many predictions that have come forth using palmistry, numerology and horoscope. How can my life be predicted using a sun-sign or a number or my the lines on my hand? I like to be in control of my life. It seems hilarious to me that my destiny was carved the moment I was born; people noting down the exact time and then seeing where the Shani and the Mangal were at the instance I was born, then a Rashi (lunar-sign) is assigned to me, I should have a name starting with the letter K; and oh! I almost forgot the number 5, this would define the characteristics I would have – mellow, easy-going, thoughtful. And the lines of my hand, which would predict as soon as I am born as to how many kids I’ll have, will my wife be beautiful or not, how long will I live, am I brainy or not and God knows what not? Wait a second; I think I am missing something. Oh yeah! Sun-sign! Now there is this sun-sign, which again defines my characteristics – frank, rude, impulsive. Hey did not the number 5 say I am easy-going & now Aries says I am impulsive! Proper time to use a Siddhu euphemism – I am as confused as a kid in a topless bar Whew! So many forces conspiring to take control of my life.
Dear conflicting forces, I am so honoured that you find my life so interesting. Well, thank you to all of you, but I think that I can take care of myself. I don’t need your help in planning out my life. I do love to hear the predictions, about my supposed future exploits for the simple reason that I love jokes, I like to laugh So please stop trying to rule my life because you never will be able to do so. It is me who is in control of my life, and I like it that way.
I sum up in one word what all this astrology means to me: Horror-scope!